How to cope with failure, hurt caused by family and profession
Everyone wants joy, success and progress in life through materialistic gains like wealth, family, children, friends, land and building, fame, power etc. All of these are going to end, temporary, momentary. But we do not know that true joy, real success and progress is a subject matter of self consciousness. All these are internal virtues of our self being and can not be achieved by external means.
Detachment – A way to release unwanted stress/ sorrow
The core basis of our success, joy, power and progress is —‘Detachment’. Being detached means — unpossessed, neutral, loving, unique, not touchy, having control over all the five senses, not attracted towards glamor and show-off. Such a detached person does not let depleted his internal energy while doing all his duties, responsibilities and action in this materialistic world. He/ she watches each and every event and happening of his/ her life, being a witness only just like a series of different parts of play or drama on the stage of this world. Such a person enjoys even those events, happenings and incidents also which would be a matter of sorrow or hurt for others.
Just like a skilled cook rolled over a cloth on the handle of hot pot to keep his hands safe from the heat while holding or picking up that hot pot. Similarly a witness person also keeps himself/ herself safe from hurt, pain by applying spiritual wisdom in-between his/her self being and world.
DON’T GIVE MUCH IMPORTANCE TO MATERIALISTIC THINGS
Sometimes, it is very painful and hurting when something costly, lovely article, thing, or relationship gets broken, spoiled, damaged or lost. We also gets very angry, aggressive and violent for the person responsible for that. But if we think about the most lovely, favorite, close to heart thing of all of us souls then that is ‘our body’. This physical body is with us round the clock under our vigilance. Even though it is changing every moment.
Our body is deteriorating day by day. Hairs started to fall and become white, teeth started to fall and shaken, knees started to hurt, hearing power loss, eyesight vision loss, backbone starts to bow after age of 40. Whom to blame for this body change and whom to get agree with? Is nature responsible for it or time ? Everything which has a beginning also has an end. Everything which has been created that has to be destroyed at some time. This is universal rule.
How to manage our mental health with true knowledge
We have no control over the change but we can control our own mind. Things or objects or articles, events, situations, circumstances and happenings are also beyond our control and never would be that so. But our mind is our own energy that can be controlled. So always remember to never be impure and lose your immortal, eternal mind in order to gain materialistic temporary worldly things. Don’t ever deplete and deteriorate your mind energy. Always keep it calm and stable. Non materialistic, worldly things can not give you true joy. All the worldly, materialistic things, wealth, position, relationships, amenities, resources, luxury items can fulfill your physical needs and desires but can never give you true joy, happiness, peace just because they are non living and non conscious. These are virtues and merits of soul and conscience.
If an article is precious, costly and rare then it could create an environment of jealousy, envy, dispute and quarrel between family members. Even someone would criticize that you don’t deserve this. Some other neighbors will feel jealous and start to compete with you. It all concludes that there is no joy, happiness and peace even in the most precious thing. So, just utilize these things to fulfill your needs and duties and then get detached from them. Don’t make them a subject of appreciation, praise and pride. To get praise, attraction, fame, reputation, polish your spiritual qualities that are already hidden inside your being and need not to be purchased or bought from the market.
How to Cope with Hurt caused by Relationships
Some of our relationships might be extremely hurting, painful and troublesome. Then a question arises — why is it so? Why is there such a huge difference between the North Pole and South Pole (overall life style, their position and life conditions) in life between two children born in the same family having a short interval of time ? Why do our relationships cause us so much pain, hurt, sorrow and trouble ? Either it would be in the form of parent-child, husband-wife, a boss-employee, brother-sister, brother-brother, sister-sister etc. there must be an tangled puzzle of karmic accounts.
In Hindu holy book Ramayana when the king Dashrath was asked to fulfill his promise to exile Rama to forest then he became very restless, severely hurt and shocked and gone into mental trauma so much that he was hurtled and wept. However Lord Ram could not save his own father from being hurt, pain, sorrow and grief because all this suffering was a result of his own past karma. Once in past life Shravan Kumar got killed by Dashrath shoot sound guided arrow “shabd bhedi baan” and due to this karma and curse of Shravan Kumar, Dashrath had also gone through same mental trauma, grief and hurt in the final years of his life.
Whatever you give to others that finally bounce back to you. If you hurt others then that hurt will come back to you. What you will sow the same you will reap. So, whatever sorrow or joy you are getting from relations that was your own past karma or harvest.
What to do to cope with this failure and hurt
Now, in the present situation of pain, hurt, grief, sorrow or guilt what you can do —-
- First of all, accept the behaviors of others as it is, don’t force or expect them to change. Accept the reality of Calamity, bad incident, mishap or loss happened to you. Accept it. Don’t try to escape from that.
- Always remember your true identity – soul conscience. You are just a actor on the stage of this worldly drama. This physical body name, your position, rank or status in society, family, business are just a role to play. Indeed you are on an endless journey of soul on this planet earth.
- All your belongings such as House, cars, wealth, status, position, relationship, even your own physical body are just a costume on a film shooting set or stage. You are here just to play your part. All these things are temporary and not your property. You are just an actor or trustee.
- Learn any one form of suitable meditation and practice that starts from 20 minutes and then increases that up to an hour daily.
- Do interact with people if you live alone and if you spend most of your time on social media or busy with people then start to spend some time in loneliness.
- Spend some time with nature.